You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
