new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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