I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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