I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize