if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
