I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
