OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Never joke about your clitoris.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
