All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
