I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
