I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
