turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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