best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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