I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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