hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
