Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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