Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
