It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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