it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
