How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
