True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why are your pants in the freezer?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
