i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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