Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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