i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
