you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
