If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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