You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
