Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
