You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
