My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I still have a little drunk in my system
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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