So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
