Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
look no pants
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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