Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
