CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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