I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
