Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
