Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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