I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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