hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
