I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
