PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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