sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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