yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
