It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
