I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize