The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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