Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize