i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I didn't notice because vodka
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
