Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
