Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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