We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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