She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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