"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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