I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
