What a fucking waste of an outfit
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
