i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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