we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
