I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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