I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
how drunk are you?
Several
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize