I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
