You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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