Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
