there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize