At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
