You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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