i don't like sucking hair
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I FOUND THE LEGS
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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