I think i peed on brittanys purse
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize