If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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