Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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